how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
