WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
