I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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