Can i not drive my cunt home
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
