I heard we made out
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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