It's Friday. Sex?
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
