I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
