Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Randomize
