call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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