Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
