Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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