I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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