On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
