Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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