but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
