You really coming over, don't trick.
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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