Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Randomize
