just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
