3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
