Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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