I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
This house was built for laser tag.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
