Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
