I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
