Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
