we're blogging at a bar
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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