Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
