Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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