i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
