his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
should my penis look like a turkey
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
