No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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