He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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