Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
