nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
