I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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