help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
