good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
