i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
