I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
