The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
