How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
