i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
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