I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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