...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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