I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
