I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
