Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
