The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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