Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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