SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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