She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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