Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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