you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
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